he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i think im in europe. pls send help
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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