Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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