Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize