I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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