Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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