Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
