problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
