brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
