sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
