A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
