I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
