he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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