used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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