if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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