Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
