I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?