Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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