I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
