i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
