maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
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She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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