I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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