I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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