Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
