There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my shit smells like andre
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
