if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't turn off my feet"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
