It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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