no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
