did you get engaged???
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
