fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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