his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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