Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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