Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
