I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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