So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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