There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
