So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
