I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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