I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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