So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize