As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
