She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize