Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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