The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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