Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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