if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
