I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
