I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize