dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am midnight drunk by noon
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
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Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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