someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You left your phone here
Wait...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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