I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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