Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize