do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
