I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
