I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
