Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
