Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize