Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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