That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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